


Have You Seen My Love

by ludolefebvre



Category: High School Story (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, alcohol use, self-destructive behaviour
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 13:49:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6009154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ludolefebvre/pseuds/ludolefebvre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Benjamin's affair with Thomas Hunt is exposed to the media, and he returns to the only place that ever really felt like home. Things have changed more than he expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Ben hadn't known what else to do. He'd come home.

 

He tapped his phone with shaking fingers, selecting Wes from his Facebook Messenger contacts. For a while he just sat on his motel bed, staring at the screen until it dimmed and shut off. He didn't know what to say, hadn't the slightest fucking clue what one was supposed to say to an ex-boyfriend who you were running to because you'd fucked up your entire life.

 

Eventually he settled upon “Hey, long time no see.. i'm in town. Coffee?”

 

He couldn't face a no. Not even a “sorry, really busy.” So he did what he did best and poured himself another drink into the little flimsy plastic cup and downed it.

 

His phone buzzed as the last of the burn in his throat was fading. He picked it up and viewed Wes' reply. His stomach jolted.

 

“sure! Whenever you want. I missed you.”

 

Ben felt a spark of happiness for the first time in weeks. This was Wes. This was the boy- the man, now- who'd never judged him. God, he'd missed him so fucking much. Obviously his first few weeks at university had been the hardest, but even after- every night he'd felt lonely, lost or just plain awful, he'd thought of Wes. Imagined what he would say if he were there. Even moments when he was happy- he'd wished so much to share those moments with him. He'd relished the thought that he'd come home one day, a Hollywood hero, and sweep his old flame off of his feet.

 

Then he'd fallen in love and fucked everything up.

 

But he didn't need to remember that just now. Not when he had four-fifths of a bottle of rye left.

 

He quickly shot Wes a message asking to meet the next day at the Starbucks around the corner from the Super 8 and got a yes. Satisfied, and a little giddy, honestly, he set himself to finishing off his bottle but only got halfway there before passing out on the bed.

* * *

 

Ben sat anxiously at the precocious little table in the coffeeshop. He fidgeted, checking his phone constantly and tapping the side of his cup. What if he didn't show up? What if he forgot? What if he was angry at Ben, and had fooled him into coming so he could get mad at him in public? What if he'd gotten into an accident? What if-

 

The bell above the door jingled and Ben looked up. His breath left his body in one trepidacious exhale. It was him. Oh god, he still wore hoodies. He'd changed his haircut a bit, but the five o' clock shadow of stubble had stayed. Ben felt his heart melt.

 

Wes' eyes slowly swivelled around the Starbucks, and when they found Ben, a shared smile lit up both of their faces. He strode over to the table and Ben stood up to hug him tightly. Amazingly, Wes had had a small growth spurt after graduation and stood a good 10 or so inches taller than Ben.

 

Ben felt like he was walking back into his home after a long stay away. He buried his face in Wes' chest, inhaling the scent of cherry cough candies and vanilla cigarillos. A lump formed in his throat, and embarrassed as he was, he was powerless to stop the tears that escaped him.

 

“Fuck, I missed you,” he blurted before he could stop himself. Wes let out a laugh, pulling away slightly.

 

“I missed you too. It's been so long...”

 

Ben ignored the barista's awkward stare and clasped Wes' hands in his own. It was all going to be okay, Wes was here, and they'd never failed to fix each other before. He numbly felt something cold on Wes' finger and looked down. It was a ring. On his left hand ... fourth finger... oh no. Oh no. No, no, no...

 

“You're married..?” He found himself squeaking in surprise.

 

“Engaged,” Wes blushed a little.

 

Ben tried to look happy- or, at least, not crushed. “Who's the lucky-”  
  
“Autumn... she proposed. We're getting married next month,” Wes smiled softly.

 

Autumn. Wes had always had a soft spot for her... and honestly, she was probably a lot more deserving of Wes than Ben had ever been. “That's...” Ben choked, coughing for a few seconds to refrain from hyperventilating. “That's great. You guys... you're good together.”

 

Wes let go of Ben's hands. “I'm just going to go order. I'll be right back and then we can catch up, okay?” Ben nodded numbly and sat down. His first instinct was to flee, to run out of this coffeeshop, never to return. Forget this ever happened. Go to a hypnotist. Drive into a ditch. Whatever. But he'd already run away from Wes once, and he didn't deserve that again. Benjamin took a gulp of coffee and steeled himself for what would most certainly be an hour of painful small talk.

 

When Wes came back to the table, he had a black coffee (Ben knew that Wes would sneak two sugars into it when he thought Ben wasn't looking).

 

“So... how's it going?”

 

Ben balked a bit. “You don't read tabloids?”

 

“Well...” Wes winced. “I do when you're in them. What I meant is ... how are _you_ doing?”

 

“Um,” Ben looked down. “You don't want to hear about that. Maybe later. How's it going with you? I saw that you have your own business now...”

 

Wes didn't look ready to drop the subject of how Ben was coping, but he'd always been one to pick his battles wisely. “Yeah. I took over Red's Auto. Business is going pretty well.”

“How's Autumn doing?” Why was he even asking? What sort of masochistic streak was he on?

 

“She's been doing great, actually. She runs an art therapy center for people with terminal illnesses. It's named after her mom.”

 

Ben raised his eyebrows. “That's awesome! Seriously, that's really ... beautiful, you know?” Ben was reminded, in spite of very recent developments, of how much he admired Autumn. She'd been his first friend in this town, the one to boost him through things with Hearst. She'd never backed down and while she had her own problems, she never pushed them onto anyone else.

 

Yeah. She was a much better fit for Wes. If only he could get over it... if only his life hadn't fallen apart, maybe he'd be okay with it. But he wasn't. He was hurting.

 

“Yeah, I think so too,” Wes smiled, snapping Ben out of his reverie.

 

“Um,” Ben played with the empty whitener packets on the table, “I need to ask you a favour.”

 

Wes just looked at him, waiting for him to go on.

 

“You're the only one who knows I'm in town... if we could keep it that way, that would be good.”

 

Wes nodded. “I get it. But really... the rest of our friends could really help you with whatever you're going through.”

 

“This, from the lone wolf?”

 

“I've changed a bit,” Wes smiled.

 

Ben knew.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

He was drunk, more than usual, and he could practically feel the future regret for what he was about to do. He picked up the phone and called Wes, swinging his legs idly from the edge of the motel bed.

 

“Wes...?”

 

“Ben? Hi.”

 

“Can you come over?”

 

“.... Where is 'over'?”

 

“Um...” Ben squinted at his room key. “Super 8, room 116.”

 

“I'll be there soon.”

 

It was late, and Ben smiled. Wes still cared. He was coming over, no questions asked, in the middle of the night. Ben was finally ready to tell him about how he felt. But when Wes knocked on the door and Ben opened it, he involuntarily burst into tears.

Fuck, he was so stupid and selfish asking him over here to listen to all of his problems. Who did he think he was, coming back into Wes' life and demanding his attention? Thinking everything could be like it was before?

 

“Whoa, whoa.... shhh,” Wes came forward, looking alarmed. He closed the door and pulled Ben to his chest. “What's the problem?”

 

Ben continued to sniffle into Wes' shirt. “Wes... I'm such an idiot.”

 

“Ben... it's okay. Everyone makes mistakes.”

 

Wes was rubbing his back softly. “I made too many...”

 

Wes' eyes fell upon the empty bottles of liquor beside the bed. He pulled back slightly, staring Ben in his bloodshot eyes. “You-- you didn't, you haven't taken any pills or anything-”

 

“No.” Ben scrubbed at his wet face. “I just ... had a bit to drink. It kinda helps.”

 

“I don't think it helps anything.” Wes looked severely disappointed, and Ben choked up again. He knew Wes hated alcohol, especially as a coping method. God, he probably thought Ben was as weak and irresponsible as his father...

 

“Sorry,” he whispered, and sat back down on the bed. “I couldn't handle it.”

 

“You could have called me sooner.” Wes sat down next to him.

 

“I didn't want to bother you-”

 

“No,” Wes said seriously. “You wouldn't have bothered me, you know I'm always here-”

 

“ _Stop,”_ Ben cried, louder than before. “I have no right, no _fucking_ right to just walk back into your life like this and make you help me with all of my stupid problems. Not after what I did to you.”

 

Wes was silent. Ben curled up on top of the bed. The other seemed to be chewing on his words, but Ben didn't give him the chance to speak, afraid that Wes would tell him he was right. “After the affair came out, I thought everything would still be okay... that we'd still have each other.”

 

_Benjamin stood in front of Hunt, who was sitting on his bed, hands shaking. “Thomas- it'll be fine. You've still got me... we can-”_

 

“ _There is no 'we', Benjamin.” Thomas spat. “It's over. It's all over, my career is ruined, because of you.”_

 

_Ben reeled back like he had been slapped. “It's not the end of the world- we still have each other, please, don't talk like that... I love you.” He put his hand on Hunt's. Hunt threw it off and looked up, expression steely yet full of rage._

 

“ _I loved you too, but now I realize that it was a mistake. A grave mistake.”_

 

_Ben's lip wobbled. “Look, you're not the only one suffering here. I'm being expelled. The least you could do... is show a little sympathy.”_

 

_Thomas' mouth curled in disgust. “I have no sympathy for a foolish little slut like you, Benjamin. And you know what?”_

 

_Ben swallowed thickly, tears forming in his eyes._

 

“ _It doesn't even matter that you were expelled, your talent was lacklustre at best anyway.”_

 

_Any other time Ben would have fought, but that spark about him, the one that originally drew his professor to him, was gone. So he cried._

 

_Hunt stood up. “Stop blubbering like a child and get out of my house.”_

 

“ _Thomas... please,” Ben sobbed. “Don't do this.”_

 

“ _Get. Out.”_

 

Ben wailed, raw as he had on that day. The heartbreak still felt fresh, even though he'd poured copious amounts of alcohol on the wound. Wes rubbed Ben's back jerkily, still thinking.

 

“Y-you should go,” Ben sniffled.

 

“I'm not going anywhere,” Wes said quietly.

 

“Why?”

 

That seemed to catch Wes off guard. “Well... because-”

 

Ben didn't give him the chance to answer before he continued. “I mean, I left you when- when you needed me the most- I should have stayed. But I didn't, I was so fucking selfish, and now you're being all selfless, and...” he trailed off, voice and eyes watery.

 

“Ben,” Wes said softly. “We were high school boyfriends. You didn't need to stay when Matt died. I wouldn't have asked that of you, we were eighteen, for christ's sake.”

 

“I should have stayed,” Ben whispered. “I- I did love you enough to stay... and I don't know why I didn't.”

 

Ben rolled over, facing Wes. He stared him in the eyes, and Wes sighed.

 

“You're beating yourself up over this, and you don't need to...”

 

“Wes,” Ben reached his hand forward. “I love you.”

 

Wes gently grabbed Ben's hand, rubbing his thumb tenderly over his skin. Ben squeezed Wes' hand- he didn't feel a ring.

 

“I never stopped loving you,” he whispered.

 

Wes pressed his lips against Ben's, and Benjamin's head spun. He wasn't sure if it was the booze or the sheer excitement he was feeling. He held onto Wes like an anchor as he kissed back.

 

After the kiss ended, they simply laid there, holding each other close. Ben pressed his forehead against Wes' like they used to do, and closed his eyes.

 

“I missed this. I missed you. I missed loving you...”

 

“Shh...” Wes soothed him, ghosting his lips against Ben's and reaching a hand up to stroke his cheek. “You're drunk.”

 

“Not too drunk to know how I feel about you.” Ben buried his face in Wes' neck, trying to memorize the moment with his foggy brain.

 

Ben fell asleep like that, tickling Wes' skin with slow breaths. When he woke, Wes was gone.

 


End file.
